


Spider Baby Retribution

by tatooedlaura



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Ficlet, X-Files OctoberFicFest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-04
Updated: 2016-10-04
Packaged: 2018-08-19 13:08:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8209684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tatooedlaura/pseuds/tatooedlaura
Summary: Retribution will be swift and amusing ...





	

He’d forgotten a section of the report.

It was down in the basement still, nestled between his mug of cold coffee and the two sharpened pencils he’d planned on launching towards the ceiling tiles the second he had a chance.

But at this moment in time, he had to go fetch the missing paper.

Scully was beside him, half-zoned out and about two seconds from drooling, a look Mulder knew well.

As he rolled himself gracefully from his chair, without thinking, he stuck his forefinger in his mouth, straightened up, circled it inside Scully’s right ear for his largest, wettest wet-willy since he was nine, then continued on his merry way.

In a reaction that Skinner would regale to everyone and anyone who came within 50 feet of him for the next 26 years, Scully, not flinching right but swinging left, shot her arm out, hand balled in a fist and nailed Mulder directly in the balls as he attempted to scoot past her.

Mulder dropped to the carpet with an ‘oof’ and a ‘fuck’ and a groan, gripping his groin and wondering whether it would be better to cry or simply pass out.  
He chose curling into a ball and whimpering for a moment, watching as Scully shifted her legs, re-crossing them before letting one shoe dangle from her toe, mocking him in its black, two-inch heeled glory. Her voice drifted away from him, towards their boss, “sir, I think we’ll have to run that missing page up here this afternoon, if that’s all right?”

Mulder could hear the amusement in his voice, “yes, Agent Scully, I think that would be fine.”

From his perch on the floor, he squinted up as Scully peered over her shoulder, looking down at him, “sound good to you?”

As he nodded, the carpet rasping against his half-day beard, “fabulous.”


End file.
